The World of Bohemedude

Some Privacy Please!

I was out walking the four-legged human last night (okay, he's actually a dog...just don't tell him that), and I was basically minding my own business. Yesterday had been one of those crazily tiring days. I had some minor fires to put out at work. I went to the gym after leaving the office to try to blow off some steam, so by the time I got home I was exhausted, but Butch needed a walk, and my partner was busy cooking dinner, so it was up to me to take him out. It was getting dark out, and my mind and body were craving peace and quiet.

Much to my dismay, as I was rounding the corner to return to our apartment building, I met up with a man and woman standing under the street lamp, rapt in heated conversation. Despite my best efforts to ignore them, I simply could not. What is it about raised voices and pointed fingers that attracts our attention? I couldn't actually hear the conversation in detail, but based on body language and tone of voice, the man was apparently giving this poor woman a "piece of his mind." She was clearly uncomfortable and was attempting to defend herself, but the man wouldn't stop ranting long enough to let her speak. I assume the man and woman were a couple and the conversation taking place on my street corner was one of those heated relationship discussions that we've all experienced at one time or another.

As Butch and I made our way back to the house, perhaps a bit more slowly than is typical as I was trying to eavesdrop, I began thinking about what I was overhearing. Communication that should be taking place in private was virtually on public display. Obviously this couple did not intend to air their personal affairs in the presence of others. I'm guessing the conflict sort of arose unexpectedly, and the discussion became heated without warning. Regardless, I couldn't help but ponder the appropriateness of it all.

There seems to be a growing trend in America. We lack decorum!!  My observation may seem harsh, but I think it's truer than any of us would like to admit. And while I do not personally subscribe to anything remotely close to puritanism, I sometimes long for a sense of propiety that is clearly a thing of the past. I recently read Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice, and I couldn't help wishing that men and women were more like Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy. The thought of making a spectacle of oneself in public would have been alarming to people such as these, who lived in a time in which a clear line delineated one's private life from his or her public life.

Oh my...How times have changed!!!

I cannot even begin to count the number of times I have overheard one side of a very sensitive conversation because someone was talking on a cell phone on a crowded bus or in the supermarket. I am old enough to remember the days when telephone conversations occurred either in the confines of  one's own home or within the shelter of a phonebooth. Aside from the fact that I really don't need or want to hear what someone is saying on the telepone, most people speak much too loudly. I can't think of anything that is more annoying and obtrusive.

We seem to lack sensitivity in other areas as well.  I live in a city where many, many people take public transportation, and there are definitely times when the busses and trains become quite crowded. It's completely understandable that one gives up a certain amount privacy when he lives in a large metropolitan area. It seems reasonable to me that from time to time the transit vehicles will be very crowded, and I will forfeit a little of my personal body space if necessary.  However, there is a fine line between "crowded" and "ridiculously crowded."  I can handle crowded... I cannot handle, "Excuse me sir, is that your armpit next to my mouth?" Seriously, is it too much trouble to wait for the NEXT bus which will be coming in just a few minutes?

Dear Emily Post... Is it true that manners are a thing of the past? Few of us will dine with diplomats and dignitaries. We do not need to be masters of etiquette. Yet, a little common courtesy goes a long way! "Please" and "Thank you" are a good place to start. I'd even be happy with an occasional "Pardon me" or "Excuse me." Beyond that, I fear I'm out of luck. As my good friend Peggy once observed, "Rude people just don't know that they're rude" Alas!